Blessing in Disguise

I've spent the last several years hating that I hurt my knees. I used to love sacrificing my body to dive and slide and land hard and collide if it would help my team win whatever stupid pick up game I was playing. That all changed in 2009 when I was looking up while running full speed, and planted on my left leg to jump at the same time some kid hit my knee to the side. My knee swelled up and hurt for a while, but I didn't get any diagnosis after the swelling went down so it could have either been a torn ACL or just a sprain - either way I didn't take care of it. About a year later I was playing flag football on my hurt left knee, which resulted in me tiring out my right knee. I tried to plant as hard as i could on my worn out right knee, and it just popped.

I was so sad. As much as I loved playing stupid pick up games, I knew they would never be the same now that I couldn't jump or turn or run near as fast as I used to. I hate it. Even after two surgeries and rehabbing them, my left knee is probably at 90% and my right knee is probably 75% of what they were before. So now I'm probably like 70% total capacity of what I used to be. I used to pride myself that I could be competitive without arguing or cussing or other douche things competitive people do, but now how can I do anything competitively.

So I spent all these years hating my stupid knees. So what could make me thankful that I destroyed both of my knees?

All of this is due scrutiny cause my memory is generally terrible but this is the best recollection I can do: Me and Nishadi had dated for a few months in spring 2010, then broke up that summer when we were long distance. We were still long distance the next semester when she had a coop, but we talked and hung out when she came in town still. We started dating again when she was done with her coop. So what does this have to do with my knees? I hurt them that fall while we were separated. While I was sitting on the bleachers, unable to play, watching my team play, it was really hard for me. I called Nishadi while I was really sad and wanted to talk to somebody and Nishadi was the one I wanted to talk to. Come to find out, Nishadi was getting tired of being the one to call me, and had just decided she didn't need to hang on to an ex that much. So if I hadn't hurt my knee and given reason to call her, I may not have called and possibly wouldn't be so fortunate to be with Nishadi right now?

After my surgeries, every time my knee tweaked or twisted and hurt, it just made me more frustrated. But now anytime that happens, it's just a reminder of how lucky I am. It just threw me for a loop to realize this injury I've spent so much time regretting, should actually be one of the things I am most grateful for.